Common Questions

What is psychotherapy?

Simply stated, it’s the use of psychological techniques to address psychological issues. One of those techniques is “talk therapy.” What that means is that I will talk with you about your issues, from the perspective of having been trained in various psychological theories developed to explain human behavior. I will also do so from a sociological perspective, having received a doctorate in that discipline as well. Additionally, I will do so from many years of experience dealing with issues similar to yours.

For example, one psychological theory I utilize is Family Systems, one tenet of which is that very often people will play roles in their adult lives very similar to those they played in their families growing up. While the role you played in your family might have worked when you were young, that role may not be working for you in a current relationship or other situation. As a matter of fact, playing that role as an adult may be working to your detriment.

How do I know if I need psychotherapy?

People may come to this conclusion in different ways or because of different circumstances. So how can you tell if you need psychotherapy?  If you feel stuck in a behavior or mood that seems to be interfering with your life and that you want to change, psychotherapy may help.

As an example of being stuck in a behavior, if you feel you’re in a troubling relationship, whether it be with a spouse, a friend, a boss, or someone else, you might consider psychotherapy as a way to help you understand how it is that you came to be in that relationship in the first place as well as to learn how to function better in that relationship or possibly to end it. Often, troubling relationships do take away from the positive aspects of your life. You might find yourself thinking about the relationship excessively, which can be quite distracting and disturbing. Being in such a relationship may be at the root of depression or anxiety.

As an example of being stuck in a mood, if you’ve been depressed for a while, exhibiting symptoms such as a lack of motivation, difficulty concentrating, difficulty sleeping, changed eating habits, isolating, and a sense of hopelessness, I might first ask if you’ve had a thorough physical exam, to rule out anything physiological, such as low thyroid, which might produce some of these symptoms. If it turns out that you are perfectly healthy physically, then I would begin treating you for depression. We would talk about what is making you sad. Maybe it’s appropriate for you to be sad. Maybe you’ve lost someone significant, or maybe you’re going through a divorce, or maybe you’ve lost your job. Talking about these situations is often a good start to feeling better. When you feel heard and understood, that itself is healing. Additionally, I might offer you a new perspective. With that support, you might feel differently about what’s troubling you. You might start feeling some hope.

How will I know if I’m with the right therapist?

If you’ve never been in psychotherapy before, or even if you have, let me give you some thoughts that might help you know if you’re with the right therapist.  First of all, it’s good to find out if the therapist you’ve chosen is familiar with your issues and how often he or she has dealt with your concerns previously. Sometimes you might find a therapist who specializes in what it is that you need help with – relationships, addictions, creative blocks, divorce, grief, depression, anxiety, parenting, and so on.

While this is important, perhaps even more important is whether or not you feel heard and understood. Is the therapist asking you questions that make sense to you? Do you feel that the therapist is totally focused on you? If in the first one or two sessions you feel some motivation to at least think differently about your situation and/or make some changes, that too may be a good indicator that you and the therapist have made a good connection.

Equally important is whether or not you feel enough trust in the therapist to tell him/her things you might never have told anyone. Trust that this therapist will be able to handle what you tell him or her, be careful and gentle with it, and help you learn to deal with the issues you present.

How long will I be in psychotherapy?

That is mostly dependent on you. I have an open-door policy, which means you come and go as you please. You come as often as you want for as long as you want. Generally, people come to therapy once a week, with the length of time spent in therapy varying from a few sessions to years. The duration generally depends on the issues you come in with, how far you want to go (how much insight you want and how many changes you want to make), finances, your motivation, and other factors.

Some people come in with a crisis that needs immediate attention – a sudden loss of someone significant, for example. Sometimes after the person is feeling better, having dealt with the grief and come to terms with the reality of what happened, this individual may want to move on. But often a crisis in a person’s life brings to the fore other unresolved issues they want to continue to work on.

Sometimes people enter therapy because they want to change something about themselves. After they make the change or changes they want and start to feel better, they want to move on.

Some people get to points in their lives where what they want from the therapeutic process is maintenance work. Learning to deal more effectively with various day-to-day situations and various kinds of people, learning how to feel better about themselves (their self-esteem, self-worth), and various other issues of basic living. Such people often find that therapy is a good place to work on these issues.

Some people like to be in therapy as a way to keep their anxiety in check and to learn new ways to handle life’s stresses – new ways to think about various situations. Sometimes just talking about what is anxiety-provoking is all that’s needed to reduce that anxious state. Same with depression: sometimes just talking about the sadness makes it feel not so powerful in your mind.

So people use psychotherapy for different purposes and in different ways. I’ll work with you in any way that uses talk therapy to help you feel better, more confident, and able to function more competently and happily in the world.